Decided to write your own vows and now you’re totally stressed? Writing your wedding vows can be an incredibly personal journey for you and your sweetie, but we totally understand that it is a lot of pressure! You want everything to be just right AND you have to say it in front of not only the love of your life, but also everyone else you know. Don’t freak out; we’re here to help! We can help the vow writing process, and overall DC area wedding go a little more smoothly.


(Abby Jiu Photography)

Plan ahead and take your time – You know how in every movie and TV show either the bride or the groom is always writing their vows the night before and is absolutely freaking out (here’s looking at you, Sex and the City movie) because they think they can’t do it? Don’t be that person going crazy the night before your wedding! It may take some time for you to come up with the absolute perfect words to say to the love of your life and that’s okay! You want it to be beautiful and meaningful, and that doesn’t always come on the first pass. Set aside time to work on your vows well before the big day. You may need a few revisions or some ideas from the internet, family, and friends but we know that eventually they will be perfect!

Be you! – Put down the thesaurus and be yourself. Unless you are using a direct quote, no matter how beautiful your words are, if they aren’t your own, you might not come across as genuine as you’d like. The person you’re speaking these words to is your other half; they know and love you for you so don’t try to be someone else. If you’re not a poet or a wordsmith, that’s okay! Be yourself, tell them you love them, and everything will be okay.

Private Estate Wedding Ceremony in Virginia

(Ever After Visuals)

Brainstorm – Throw everything you’re thinking on paper and then pick out key words, phrases and moments that are important to you or that you may have written down more than once. Your brainstorm might be a crazy mess of thoughts and feelings, but it is a great place to start. You can mold those jumbled ideas into something spectacular and heartfelt.

Discuss with your partner – No, don’t read your vows word for word to your special someone before the big day! That is definitely not what we are suggesting, but you do want to be somewhat on the same page. Of course you want your personalities to shine, but you don’t want one person who talks for ten minutes while the other gives a quick 1-minute spiel. Do you want to be silly or serious? Make your guests laugh or cry? Memorize or work from a note card? Speak from the heart or wing it? Whatever you decide, do it together. After all, isn’t that kind of what vows are about?


(Clarence Chan Photography)

Read them out loud – Reading out loud helps you to pick out awkward wording and mistakes that you might not catch when just reading silently to yourself. As we all know, some things just sound better in your head! If you feel comfortable, try reading your vows out loud to a friend or family member to see what they think. Although it is ultimately about you and your partner, having another set of ears and eyes can always help. You can set up some feedback boundaries if you are worried.

Still not so sure about how to write vows that wow? We have compiled a list of a few questions that could help you get the creative juices flowing! You don’t have to include these in your vows, but it will certainly get you thinking!

  • What are 3 things that you love most about your partner?
  • Think of a favorite day/time that they two of you have shared. How did you feel in that moment?
  • What are 3 promises you want to make to your partner?
  • What are 5 things you want out of your marriage?

Now, put pen to paper and get to it! Already have your vows out of the way and want to move on to more wedding planning? Gain inspiration from some of our real DC area weddings or ready about wedding tips and tricks on our blog.

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